Grieving the Time and Energy You Lost to Diet/Wellness Mess is Real!
I received an overwhelming response to last week's newsletter, which discussed the complicated and nuanced issues of weight loss and diet culture. Thank you to those who shared their thoughts with me. I’m deeply touched by the grief I hear in your stories about your loss of time and energy spent entangled in the diet/wellness mess.
Your stories about regret that you've passed toxic messages down to your children, about witnessing your own mother hold tight to her restrictions as she faced death, the loss of missed opportunities due to feeling that your body wasn't good enough, and so many more.
I am honored that you trust me with your struggles, pain, and anger as you become more aware of the toxic nature of diet culture. Your grief may sound like the loss of: •discovering new cultures and exploring new foods during travel •being able to relax and enjoy vacations due to the distraction of worrying about following exercise or eating plans •being present for precious moments with loved ones due to distraction or fatigue which comes with restriction •saying "YES" to adventures because you feel like your body is not “good enough” • fully experiencing intimacy due to worrying about your lover’s perception of your body •memories because your brain was not at its best due to hunger and fatigue (yes, being under-nourished decreases your capacity for memory) •feeling that you are a capable human because diet/wellness culture creates a story that you are a failure
It's not your fault; diet/wellness culture goes unquestioned! First, understand that restriction, deprivation, and hunger experienced when caught up in a diet/wellness culture are not sustainable and are all set up for failure! If you want to learn more about this, I highly recommend Ragen Chastain's work. One of my wise clients recommended one of her interviews on a recent podcast, which I found to be very powerful. You might find it helpful, too. Understandably, you experience layers of grief from your years of being entangled in diet/wellness culture mess. Understandably, you may get caught up in this mess even more as you age! We live in a thin and youth-obsessed culture that affirms only a narrowly defined ideal body. I've written extensively about this. Check out my blog and podcast interviews for more about how aging increases your vulnerability to diet/wellness culture. Please give yourself loads of grace and compassion. All of this is so understandable, and you are not alone.
The diet/wellness mess fractures your relationship with your body and makes you look AT your body as a problem to be fixed and a project to focus your time and energy on.
The best time to mend your relationship with your body was 20 years ago. The second best time is NOW. Midlife is the perfect time to let go of these oppressive standards, beliefs, and body stories.
Midlife is an opportunity to mend your relationship with your body and eating, which brings much-needed empowerment and peace, especially during this precious chapter of your life.
